When I first heard the sounds, I thought something had gone wrong with my TV reception, the sort of problem that occasionally occurs with telephones when lines get crossed. Here I am watching the opening round World Cup match between the US and England when it is clear to me that ESPN and National Geographic have crossed signals. Nat Geo must be airing a special on bees. All that buzzing I was hearing couldn’t possibly be coming from the ESPN transmission. So I called Time Warner to see what the problem was and to get things remedied. The following is a bit of my conversation:
Me – “Hello, my name is Lloyd, and I’m having trouble with my reception.”
Rep- “ What’s seems to be the problem, sir.”
Me- “ ESPN and NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC have crossed signals."
Rep– “ Uh, what do you mean sir, crossed signals? That’s not possible.”
Me– “ Oh, it’s happening right now. The Bee Documentary has crossed over and it’s playing in the background of The World Cup. I’m hearing BUZZING; it is everywhere."
Rep- “ Sir, Nat Geo is not airing a documentary on bees right now. But you think you’re hearing bees. Perhaps there’s a beehive outside your window. Have you looked outside sir?"
Me- “ There’s no bees outside, just the bird that likes to walk through our ceiling ducts every so often."
Rep– “ Sir, you seem to be hearing a variety of wildlife sounds in your New York City apartment – quacking, chirping, buzzing."
Me– “ I SAID DUCTS, NOT DUCKS! THERE’S NO QUACKING GOING ON HERE!"
Rep– “ It’s amazing how the mind works, sir. You hear things and then, viola, they’re gone. Sometimes when you’re really tired strange things start happening. Have you gotten a good night’s sleep lately? That might help."
Me– “ I’M NOT SLEEP DEPRIVED. I JUST HEAR BUZZING."
Rep– “ Sir, have you thought about talking about this with your doctor. Or maybe it's an indication of something a bit more serious. Perhaps talking with a psychologist would help.”
Me– “ I AM A PSYCHOLOGIST.”
Rep- “ Really. Well, I’m sure your patients are getting excellent care. But I would stick to treating neurotics. I think psychotics might be a bit much for you."
Click
It would not surprise me at all to hear that large numbers of people actually did call up their cable or dish operators to complain when The World Cup first began to air. For it took about 24 hours before everyone watching fully understood that the cause of the buzzing was the Vuvuselas, the tin horns whose buzzing makes fire engine sirens sound pleasurable. While I understand they are part of South African culture, they simply don’t belong in The World Cup. Their volume interferes, not only with players ability to hear each other, but with the organic sounds of the crowd as well. And the energy of the crowd - the ebb and flow of excitement – can have a dramatic impact on the outcome of a game. Anything that interferes with the relationship between players and spectators has no place in spots. Simply put, manufactured noise should be banned at sporting events.
Someone brought a Vuvusela to Yankee Stadium last week and started blowing on it early in the game. That lasted about 4 seconds. The horn was confiscated and the fellow was politely told that if this happened again, he would be watching Yankee games at home for the rest of his life. The same rules should have been applied to The World Cup. Let the athletes play. Let the crowd roar. That’s why we watch.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Lance, Floyd and the Joy of Cycling
I think it’s a safe assumption to say that most, if not all of us, are tired of reading about the use of performance enhancement drugs (PEDS) in sports. Hearing that another ball player has tested positive is about as interesting as learning that Lindsay Lohan got drunk again. Nobody cares. That said, there is something fascinating about what’s happening in cycling right now that has got my attention. And given that I have absolutely no interest in the sport, that’s saying something.
Let’s begin with Floyd Landis. By now everyone knows that Floyd was stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title for testing positive for testosterone. Claiming innocence and blaming the positive test on either sloppy lab work or shenanigans on the part of the French, he proceeded to fight the cycling authorities to get his title back. He spent enormous amounts of money – much of which was donated by people who believed him – on various appeals but, ultimately, he lost. Despite all of this, Mr. Landis remained steadfast in proclaiming his innocence. Until now. In what must rank as one of the strangest announcements in the history of sport, he sent a series of emails to the cycling authorities saying that, in fact, he did cheat, and he’s been lying about it ever since. But that wasn’t enough. He then implicated most of the other top riders – including Lance Armstrong –claiming they were all doping during the same time period.
All of this begs two questions. First, what exactly was going through Floyd Landis’s mind leading to his admission of guilt? And second, what does this all mean for Lance Armstrong? Forget about all the other riders, nobody knows who they are. Cycling is only about Lance.
You don’t have to be a psychologist to know that Floyd Landis is one angry guy. His fight-flight response is permanently stuck in the on position. While on the surface he professes to be doing all of this to cleanse his soul, you can almost hear his internal voice screaming,
“YEAH I CHEATED … WE ALL CHEATED…YEAH, LANCE TOO…YOU THINK HE WON ALL THOSE TOURS ON TALENT ALONE…. I DESERVE THAT TITLE...I’M NOT GOING DOWN ALONE… YOU TOO LANCE…YOU KNOW THE TRUTH...NOW YOU’RE ALL GOING TO SUFFER.”
In Floyd’s mind, ironically, he wants justice. And on some level, there’s logic to his craziness. Before baseball players knew the difference between steroids and asteroids, cyclists were using their bodies as chemistry experiments. For them, using PEDs wasn’t cheating, it was science. And Floyd was just doing what everyone else was doing. Unfortunately, he got caught after winning cycling’s most prestigious event.
Floyd’s behavior became even more surreal during the Tour of California, which was taking place when the story gained media attention. He showed up at the event with bodyguards and wearing a bullet proof vest. Floyd had either tipped over completely, or he wanted to make some dramatic statement about the legitimacy of his claims . Either way, this was better than any reality TV show currently airing.
And while all this was going on, Lance Armstrong was the coolest guy in town. In addition to Lance calmly stating that he has always tested clean, his statements about Floyd sounded cleverly sympathetic and subtly patronizing.
On the other hand, some of the statements coming from other riders were reminiscent of Mark McGuire at the Congressional Hearings a few years back. George Hincapie, a teammate of Lance Armstrong said, “whoever wants to talk about something eight years ago, fine, they can waste their time on that. I want to talk about the future of the sport and the sacrifices we put into it.” Oops, that doesn’t sound so good. Fortunately for him, this was in response to a question from a reporter and not testimony under oath before Congress.
So, what are we left with? Is Floyd Landis telling the truth? The only problem with Floyd’s accusations is that he only has his recollections of events, no actual bloody needles, photos, documents, etc. That’s not to say he’s lying, it only means proving these accusations is somewhat problematic. And herein lies Floyd's dilemma.
In order for him to get the justice he so desperately wants, somebody – some other rider or support staff - is going to have to come forward and corroborate his story. And that is never going to happen. Assuming Floyd’s Landis’s accusations are true, the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico has a better chance of plugging itself than seeing another rider come forward to implicate Lance Armstrong.
Lance is the Godfather of cycling. The level of intensity that drove him to cycling immortality doesn’t disappear when he steps off his bike. It’s the core of his personality. When you couple his iconic status as an athlete with his heroic status as a cancer survivor, you see an athlete on a pedestal that no other individual has ever occupied. Lance Armstrong is The Ultimate American Hero.
Floyd Landis let his rage get in the way of his judgment. He’s alone out there and nobody is going to stand next to him. As an old wise man once said, “never mess with the Godfather.”
---------
Let’s begin with Floyd Landis. By now everyone knows that Floyd was stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title for testing positive for testosterone. Claiming innocence and blaming the positive test on either sloppy lab work or shenanigans on the part of the French, he proceeded to fight the cycling authorities to get his title back. He spent enormous amounts of money – much of which was donated by people who believed him – on various appeals but, ultimately, he lost. Despite all of this, Mr. Landis remained steadfast in proclaiming his innocence. Until now. In what must rank as one of the strangest announcements in the history of sport, he sent a series of emails to the cycling authorities saying that, in fact, he did cheat, and he’s been lying about it ever since. But that wasn’t enough. He then implicated most of the other top riders – including Lance Armstrong –claiming they were all doping during the same time period.
All of this begs two questions. First, what exactly was going through Floyd Landis’s mind leading to his admission of guilt? And second, what does this all mean for Lance Armstrong? Forget about all the other riders, nobody knows who they are. Cycling is only about Lance.
You don’t have to be a psychologist to know that Floyd Landis is one angry guy. His fight-flight response is permanently stuck in the on position. While on the surface he professes to be doing all of this to cleanse his soul, you can almost hear his internal voice screaming,
“YEAH I CHEATED … WE ALL CHEATED…YEAH, LANCE TOO…YOU THINK HE WON ALL THOSE TOURS ON TALENT ALONE…. I DESERVE THAT TITLE...I’M NOT GOING DOWN ALONE… YOU TOO LANCE…YOU KNOW THE TRUTH...NOW YOU’RE ALL GOING TO SUFFER.”
In Floyd’s mind, ironically, he wants justice. And on some level, there’s logic to his craziness. Before baseball players knew the difference between steroids and asteroids, cyclists were using their bodies as chemistry experiments. For them, using PEDs wasn’t cheating, it was science. And Floyd was just doing what everyone else was doing. Unfortunately, he got caught after winning cycling’s most prestigious event.
Floyd’s behavior became even more surreal during the Tour of California, which was taking place when the story gained media attention. He showed up at the event with bodyguards and wearing a bullet proof vest. Floyd had either tipped over completely, or he wanted to make some dramatic statement about the legitimacy of his claims . Either way, this was better than any reality TV show currently airing.
And while all this was going on, Lance Armstrong was the coolest guy in town. In addition to Lance calmly stating that he has always tested clean, his statements about Floyd sounded cleverly sympathetic and subtly patronizing.
On the other hand, some of the statements coming from other riders were reminiscent of Mark McGuire at the Congressional Hearings a few years back. George Hincapie, a teammate of Lance Armstrong said, “whoever wants to talk about something eight years ago, fine, they can waste their time on that. I want to talk about the future of the sport and the sacrifices we put into it.” Oops, that doesn’t sound so good. Fortunately for him, this was in response to a question from a reporter and not testimony under oath before Congress.
So, what are we left with? Is Floyd Landis telling the truth? The only problem with Floyd’s accusations is that he only has his recollections of events, no actual bloody needles, photos, documents, etc. That’s not to say he’s lying, it only means proving these accusations is somewhat problematic. And herein lies Floyd's dilemma.
In order for him to get the justice he so desperately wants, somebody – some other rider or support staff - is going to have to come forward and corroborate his story. And that is never going to happen. Assuming Floyd’s Landis’s accusations are true, the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico has a better chance of plugging itself than seeing another rider come forward to implicate Lance Armstrong.
Lance is the Godfather of cycling. The level of intensity that drove him to cycling immortality doesn’t disappear when he steps off his bike. It’s the core of his personality. When you couple his iconic status as an athlete with his heroic status as a cancer survivor, you see an athlete on a pedestal that no other individual has ever occupied. Lance Armstrong is The Ultimate American Hero.
Floyd Landis let his rage get in the way of his judgment. He’s alone out there and nobody is going to stand next to him. As an old wise man once said, “never mess with the Godfather.”
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