Humor Interlude 1: Bozone - A theory for all that is dopey

I think we all agree that humor is the best antidepressant. It’s virtually impossible to be depressed when you’re laughing. Hence, during times of stress- and we all agree it doesn’t get more stressful than this - a bit of humor can be therapeutic. So in the spirit of practical wisdom, the humor interlude was born.

My Standard Poodle, Royce, wrote the following. For those of you interested in learning more about Royce, you can see a video of him on YouTube. Just type in The Royce Report in the search box, and Royce will tell you all about himself and his desire to go into show biz.

Bozone: An explanation for all that is dopey.

As a dog, I have always wondered how humans got to be as confused as they are. Psychology and biology don’t seem to explain it very well it. Hence, an astronomical theory is needed to explain why humans seem to be in a perpetual state of “dumbth.” The following is my speculative theory:

At the moment of the big bang when the universe came into being, an invisible, odorless gas called bozone was released into the newly formed cosmos. For billions of years huge clouds of this gas floated through the galaxies, most recently entering the Milky Way. Eventually bozone made its way into our solar system and entered the earth’s atmosphere. The first evidence of bozone’s toxic effects appeared in the Dodo bird. There aren’t any more Dodos around anymore, clearly an indication that something went terribly wrong for the Dodo. (I’m sure no Dodos were ever speakers at monthly Mensa meetings.) Still, becoming extinct, the fate of the poor Dodo, meant that somewhere along the way the bird became a complete dope and the subsequent moniker, “you’re a dodo,” was born. An encounter with a toxic cloud of Bozone is the only logical explanation.

While the Dodo is the most obvious example of the toxic effects of Bozone in the animal world, it is humans more than any other creature that seem most susceptible to its effects. There is something about inhaling bozone that results in irrational, illogical or purely idiotic behavior. The following are just a few obvious Bozonious events that have occurred over the past few years:

1. George Bush being elected President. TWICE!
2. People believing the size of Barry Bond’s head is due to the aging process.
3. The belief that giving people mortgages without checking their finances would be unlikely to cause any problems in the economy.
4. Sarah Palin being selected as a VP candidate.

Even a miniature schnauzer would have been a better choice than Sarah Palin. John McCain must have been exposed to a particularly intense cloud of Bozone to have made this pick.

Where do you think the saying “he’s a real BOZO” comes from? As Carl Jung might have said, it’s the collective unconscious trying to tell us that something noxious is wrecking havoc with our thinking. I’m hoping that when that new physics particle collider is up and running and recreates the “big bang,” scientists will figure out a way to test for Bozone. If not, then we might be looking at a Sarah Palin Presidency in 2012. Good Grief!

HELLO AND GOODBYE -TRANSITIONS FOR CHANGE

Some things in life are obviously difficult. Saying goodbye is one of them. The magnitude of a “goodbye” certainly varies, but the meaning is always the same: THE END. Whether it’s ending a love relationship, leaving behind friends due to changing schools/jobs/homes, saying goodbye to a career dream that didn’t quite turn out the way you wanted it to or, the ultimate goodbye, someone you love dying, As painful as these experiences are, they are essential to our growth and development. The vitality of our lives is predicated on new people, events, stimulation and challenges periodically occurring. Without goodbyes we can never have hellos. What keeps people from initiating the goodbyes they have control over (e.g. relationships) is a tendency to overestimate the amount of time that they will feel bad. Fortunately, the wisdom in the unconscious is hardwired to reestablish emotional balance as quickly as possible. Incorporating this idea into your map of experience allows one to begin looking at the idea of “quality” risk taking. Is it time to get out of that relationship or job that is stale or lifeless? Are there patterns of behavior that are not useful or productive that you know it’s time to say goodbye to? Are you ready to say hello to skills you want to learn or places you want to see. Hello and goodbye reflect transitions, and it’s at these moments in time when change is most available to us.

So perhaps.....as you think about that goodbye..........you know the one that has popped up..from time to time........you can begin to think about it differently.......more confidently.........realizing that........deep down inside..........way....way ...down inside yourself.......are resources that you've forgotten you had........or maybe even never new that you had......but they are there .......and when ......you are ready to make that change.......say that goodbye......that power will float straight up into your consciousness......and when it does.......you'll be ready to use it.

4 KEY WORDS

A few weeks ago I made reference to the fact that we are creatures of words. Our world is shaped by the words we use. But a certain few - four in particular - are more important than others in any discussion of practical wisdom. These words influence how we interact with the people, events and situations that constitute our world and influence our decision making. These keys words are two pairs of polar opposites: yes/no and hello/goodbye. Now I have hunch that a lot of people who are reading this right are saying to themselves, " C'mon Lloyd, this is it, these are life's most important words, words that are typically a few of a child's first words, words that are some of the first you learn when studying a foreign language! Lloyd, you've got to do better than this, " I know, it seems kind of simplistic that words that are as common place as these four are as important as any and mastering them, really understanding how far their roots and branches extend into our lives, is a life long chore. They are, however, that important and here's why. Let's take "no" for example, the core expression of autonomy. How often over course of your life did you want to say no, want to assert yourself, and you didn't? I'm sure it's a lot more than you're willing to admit. In fact, I'll bet that one of those memories just crossed the screen of your consciousness right now as you were reading this. That's right,THAT SITUATION WHERE YOU KNEW YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO. And you didn't. Some people spend their entire life never coming close to mastering this word. And yes is equally as important. How often did you say no to something you should have said yes to because it involved a risk? And, in retrospect, you know it was risk you should have taken. At the time you did what all of us do when we've made a mistake, we con ourselves with some elaborate justification for our decision. Underneath, however, we know the truth and, hopefully, in retrospect we can look back and admit to making the wrong choice. And in allowing ourselves a moment of existential truth, we begin to lay the groundwork for saying "yes" in the future when the cycle of experience comes back around to a similar decision. Don't worry, you''ll get another chance to make amends with yourself.

We'll talk about hello and goodbye next time.

But for the moment.......as you take a deep breath.....and let the words from above .......float.....from consciousness....to a deeper place........a place inside yourself........that allows your conscious mind to .......pause..........relax......and allow that deeper level........to store what you've read.......in a really safe place inside.....a place that contains the wisdom you've already acquired........so that now.......right now.......a little bit more is available to you........and........effortlessly......and spontaneously........it will pop up .....at the right time.........in the right place........or with the right person.

FEELINGS


If there's one part of our experience that we view as sacrosanct, it's our feelings. While thoughts and behavior, the other two parts of the golden trilogy that defines our "self" are as important, it's our feelings that we're closest to. Why else would so much of psychotherapy focus on them ? With all do respect to the cognitive therapy boom, there's more talk about feelings in therapy than thoughts. Why else would the most overused question in the history of psychotherapy be, "so how does that make you feel?" Thoughts are in our head, a rather small space. But feelings are different, they take over our entire body, they're bigger, more intense and consequently, more seductive. We're easily seduced by our feelings, believing they represent an accurate description of our reality. WRONG. I know it's blasphemy to say it, but sometimes our feelings are obstacles to good decision making. In other words there are times when a feeling/emotion is "clean" (i.e., a legitimate response to a current situation). At other times, however, a feeling can be a part of an old programmed response pattern that "fires" under certain circumstances . Take the current situation of Brett Favre, legendary quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. Brett retired months ago during a during a typical retirement press conference. At that moment in time he looked at his career, his life and his future and decided to call it a day. It all made sense and, at that moment in time, Brett knew it was time to go. Perfect. Then, five months later he says he made a mistake and wants his job back. Anybody who had every played a seasonal sport knows that the "feeling" of wanting to play always returns as training camp approaches. It like Pavlov's dog; ring the bell and he salivates. Brett Favre could no sooner stop those feelings than he could stop the sun from rising. He was at the mercy of classical conditioning. Being able to step outside your experience so that you don't get seduced is a very sophisticated skill. Good decision making is a critical component of wisdom. And being able to distinguish between real vs. illusory feelings is central to this process.




So right now...... as you slow down....way down.......and reflect on what you've read............perhaps you can.........when you're ready,,,,,,,,,reflect on times when you were fooled by a feeling.........a time perhaps not so long ago........when you were absolutely convinced.......that the feeling was just so right......so perfect.....and then.......it all changed.......what appeared so solid,,,,,,turned out to be vapor.......an illusion.....but now as you reflect.....and think......perhaps you can think differently about your feelings.........in a new and productive way.........we all get fooled from time to time.......but now you know more than you did before.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Humans are creatures of words, and we just can't stop talking. Cell phones and computers are now extensions of our minds connected on some bio-technological level that none of us fully comprehends. We can't shut up. And If we're not talking, texting, emailing or instant messaging, we're thinking about the next thing we're going to say to someone, somehow. What is less obvious but equally omnipresent is our internal conversations. We just keep talking whether someone is there or not. Most of the time this isn't problematic. There is one situation, however, where blathering away in your head is outright dangerous, and that's when you're eating. This is especially true if your internal monologue is fueled by anger. You see, when you talk in your head the rhythm of speech and breathing continues as if you're actually talking. Hence, at the same moment in time when you would normally take a breath- which would happen frequently if you were expressing anger -the wind pipe opens up and quess what happens? That's right, that big junk of food you were eating suddenly gets sucked into that small opening. Now most of the time this happens coughing typically dislodges the food, and we go back to eating, a bit shaken but okay. But every so often someone needs the Heimlich maneuver, that violent stomach pull that forces air up through the trachea and results in that large piece of food being dislodged and propelled at warp speed three tables over into someone's salad. "Excuse me waiter, I was unaware my salad came with a partially chewed piece of meat." Everyone reading this has had food caught in their windpipe. It falls into the category of universal experiences. What is equally univeral is nobody remembers why it happened. And the reason is simple. The trauma caused by the potentially life threatening situation generates immediate amnesia. You simply don't rememember precluding the possibility for any learning ever to take place.

So next time you're eating.. and your mind begins to focus... on an internal conversation.... perhaps,..... sooner that later..... an awareness will take over......the kind of awareness that's useful....in a variety of different ways.....that brings you back to focusing on eating...... and in doing so you can realize that in noticing your eating.......you can realize.....really realize.... how easy it is to become satisfied......and as you become more aware of those sensations of fullness ....you can become more satisfied with less food.... and stay safer along the way. So feel free to remember.... what you need to remember from what you learned today....for you clearly have a right as well as an obligation to make useful changes in your life....for who else is going to make them for you.

" SEEING" The hidden inner world of talking

The key to building a good map is to be aware of all the information that’s available and organizing it in a meaningful way. In the case of our current need – building the initial foundation of a map for successful living – sensory information is the category of knowledge we need to focus on. To state the obvious, we are all aware of our external world – the sights, sounds, smells, etc. – that constitutes our reality. When we cross a street we keep track of sights and sounds or find ourselves in serious trouble. Hence, being aware of ongoing external sensory input is essential to survival. Yet, external information only constitutes half of our sensory world. The other half we create in our minds, and its importance cannot be overstated. Moreover, it is the interplay between these two streams of sensory data - what’s going on around us and what’s going on in our heads – that makes things so confusing. Take for example the experience of driving a car while talking on a cell phone. This is the classic conflict of inner vs. outer. You see (no pun intended), the issue is not whether or not you have both hands free that causes the problem. It’s the inner screen vs. the outer world, two streams of sensory information competing for awareness. While we’re talking on the phone we create in our heads the reality we’re conversing about. In other words, as we tell our friend what we did last Friday night, we’re seeing in our minds what we’re describing, literally watching it on the screen in our heads. Consequently our ability to focus on the road gets compromised as we simultaneously talk, have a movie running in our heads and try to focus on driving. I’m sure many of us have experienced a “YIKES, THAT WAS CLOSE”. So the whole idea of headsets vs. holding the phone is actually a moot point – neither works. So lesson number one is begin to notice how you create images in your mind as you talk with anyone under any circumstances. It’s like air, it’s always there but we’re oblivious to it.

So keep your cell phone usage to a minimum while driving. Better yet, just use the phone for emergencies and listen to some good music instead.

UP NEXT – PRACTICAL WISDOM PART II:

Building an internal map of experience

Trying to sort out and label the contents of one’s consciousness can be extremely confusing. Equally difficult is trying to assess one’s mood. Am I depressed, angry, anxious, sad or a combination of these feelings? Do I feel good today, or just not bad? What events in my life currently are effecting my feelings, if any? These are questions that everyone asks himself or herself periodically. This issue – trying to get a clear picture of one’s experience- begs the question: is there a way to build a map to help find one’s way, to get the contents of our mind clearly into focus so as to make one’s experience understandable. The answer is yes but, to state the obvious, this isn’t easy. And the reason for its difficulty is that we need the map most when things are most intense and confusing, when we’re “red lining” emotionally. So, the idea is to build a cognitive map, a strategy for understanding how internal and external events effect our experience, at the only moment in time that actually exists: NOW. And we will begin this mapping process by focusing on some practical areas, since keeping ourselves alive is a useful place to begin. Later on we will focus on the more complex interplay between feelings and thoughts as well as conscious and unconscious processes. There’s a lot of territory to cover, but we have a lot of time. If my reading of astronomy is correct, it will be 5 billion years before our galaxy, the Milky Way, crashes into Andromeda, our neighboring galaxy. That should be enough time.

But before.......you drift off......to another task.......or... experience changes...in a pattern..it might be worthwhile......to think.......slowly... and comfortably......about what your developing map.......your internal thoughts...and images....becoming more focused.....on the screen.......inside your mind......an awareness.......that wasn't there before........will begin......without your having to do anything at all......the part of yourself......that is reading this..........outside of your conscious awareness will........use your power........in a constructive way......to get the map building.......the internal organization that you need......into the flow of your experince.....sooner than later.

Some thoughts about the wisdom of George Carlin

Every so often an event reminds us of something that is vitally important in our lives. The death of George Carlin is one of those occurrences that lift the importance of humor and laughter to the forefront of consciousness where it belongs. We all have a tendency to take ourselves and beliefs too seriously. And George Carlin – more than any other comedian – punctured our model of reality in a way that allowed us to laugh at ourselves. And in doing so, we not only gained some much needed perspective on the silliness/rigidity of our beliefs, but also experienced a beneficial change, albeit temporary, to our brain chemistry. Wisdom can be found in many different places and, as George Carlin taught us, humor is one of them.

WISDOM: Learning how to live smart

When we think about knowledge, we imagine a large number of facts, discoveries or understandings that increases in size with the passage of time.  For instance, over the past century medicine has developed antibiotics, vaccinations and a host of other therapies and technologies that keep us alive and well.  Physics now includes black holes, dark matter, quarks and a variety of other unimaginable realities that have expanded our understanding of the the universe.  Every category of knowledge continues to systematically increase in size except for one: wisdom.  For unlike other categories that comprise the components of ourselves and our world, wisdom reflects our ability to live intelligently, make good decisions and find meaning and purpose.  It's about seeing patterns and understanding consequences.  And since the issues which we have to deal with don't change - growing, relating, emoting, working, parenting, etc. - how to successfully deal with all of these facets of our lives also remains constant.  Wisdom is learning how to "live smart",  and it will always be just that! 

So feel free.....to slow down.......take a moment........an internal pause....... and begin to reflect........for every so often .....from time to time.....it's useful to step outside the flow of time.....like stepping out of a river and onto the bank...... and watch the flow.......rather than being in it.......and look.......and think......and wonder...what's really important in your life right now........perhaps it's that decision you've been contemplating........or a relationship which needs improvement.......or trying something new ..........only you know when you will make that change and use your intuitive wisdom to set the process into motion.

Next up: Building an internal map

FINDING WISDOM IN AN OTHERWISE CONFUSING WORLD

There's a lot of information out there telling us how to live our lives.  In fact, there's too much, way too much.  I love simplicity; it has a certain unappreciated elegance.  Simplicity, like modesty and subtlety are words this culture tends to ignore; yet, they are wonderful concepts.  And this blog is my vehicle for using simplicity as the foundation for practical learning.  It is the "less is more" approach, and my role is that of a guide.  If you're trying to go from point A to point B, my job is to point you in the right direction.  The learnings that are acquired along the way fall into that category of knowledge we call wisdom.  This blog represents my own library of bits and pieces of wisdom that I have acquired over the years.  I believe that if you......slow down....read these posts......... from time...... to time.....you might find yourself learning........something of value....and then......perhaps.....when you are ready....making a change......at the right time......in the right place.....or with the right person.   Enjoy the journey.  

NEXT UP:  SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT WISDOM