Humor Interlude 1: Bozone - A theory for all that is dopey

I think we all agree that humor is the best antidepressant. It’s virtually impossible to be depressed when you’re laughing. Hence, during times of stress- and we all agree it doesn’t get more stressful than this - a bit of humor can be therapeutic. So in the spirit of practical wisdom, the humor interlude was born.

My Standard Poodle, Royce, wrote the following. For those of you interested in learning more about Royce, you can see a video of him on YouTube. Just type in The Royce Report in the search box, and Royce will tell you all about himself and his desire to go into show biz.

Bozone: An explanation for all that is dopey.

As a dog, I have always wondered how humans got to be as confused as they are. Psychology and biology don’t seem to explain it very well it. Hence, an astronomical theory is needed to explain why humans seem to be in a perpetual state of “dumbth.” The following is my speculative theory:

At the moment of the big bang when the universe came into being, an invisible, odorless gas called bozone was released into the newly formed cosmos. For billions of years huge clouds of this gas floated through the galaxies, most recently entering the Milky Way. Eventually bozone made its way into our solar system and entered the earth’s atmosphere. The first evidence of bozone’s toxic effects appeared in the Dodo bird. There aren’t any more Dodos around anymore, clearly an indication that something went terribly wrong for the Dodo. (I’m sure no Dodos were ever speakers at monthly Mensa meetings.) Still, becoming extinct, the fate of the poor Dodo, meant that somewhere along the way the bird became a complete dope and the subsequent moniker, “you’re a dodo,” was born. An encounter with a toxic cloud of Bozone is the only logical explanation.

While the Dodo is the most obvious example of the toxic effects of Bozone in the animal world, it is humans more than any other creature that seem most susceptible to its effects. There is something about inhaling bozone that results in irrational, illogical or purely idiotic behavior. The following are just a few obvious Bozonious events that have occurred over the past few years:

1. George Bush being elected President. TWICE!
2. People believing the size of Barry Bond’s head is due to the aging process.
3. The belief that giving people mortgages without checking their finances would be unlikely to cause any problems in the economy.
4. Sarah Palin being selected as a VP candidate.

Even a miniature schnauzer would have been a better choice than Sarah Palin. John McCain must have been exposed to a particularly intense cloud of Bozone to have made this pick.

Where do you think the saying “he’s a real BOZO” comes from? As Carl Jung might have said, it’s the collective unconscious trying to tell us that something noxious is wrecking havoc with our thinking. I’m hoping that when that new physics particle collider is up and running and recreates the “big bang,” scientists will figure out a way to test for Bozone. If not, then we might be looking at a Sarah Palin Presidency in 2012. Good Grief!